It's About More Than Tu-tus, Tiaras and Red Lipstick.

5/30/2015

I often find myself defending the fact that I let my daughter do so much dancing.

Over coffee the other day, a friend was telling me about her sister in law who had paid thousands upon thousands of dollars for her daughter to dance. She had been dancing since she was 5, had now finished school and gone off to dance full time in Sydney. 6 months later and she was back, realising that it wasn't what she wanted to do and was now looking at uni courses in areas completely unrelated to dance or ballet. “What a waste!” was my friend’s response.” All that money and time and all for nothing.

I tried to bite my tongue. Really, I did. I tried to smile and nod understandingly, not really wanting to get into another round of “You don’t really get it” with my friend. And then I thought...stuff it! I stopped smiling and nodding and said (politely, of course) “Actually, you know what?! I’m going to have to correct you on that one.”

I spent today with Miss 11 at her ballet showcase. She danced, I helped in the dressing room. From 12.00 midday to 5.00pm, I was surrounded by hairspray, red lipstick, tu-tus and ribbons. I was also surrounded by team spirit, role models, dedication, compassion and bloody hard work!

If my daughter does not pursue a career in dance, it will not have been a waste.

Because today I saw 12 year old girls (who are stereotypically known for being egotistic and self centred!) helping control 5 year olds who were literally bouncing off walls in excitement.

I saw 12 year old girls show compassion to one of their friends who was disappointed after a (minor, but important to her) costume malfunction.

I saw 12 year old girls work together to make sure they were all on stage dressed and ready to go, despite sometimes only having one or two dances to make some major costume changes.

I heard one 12 year old girl say to her stressed out friend, while helping her during that very quick change, “It’s OK. We are a team and we won’t go on stage until you are ready to go on with us.”

I saw 12 year old girls work with a team of adults to ensure the day ran smoothly.

I saw 12 year old girls take time out to work on part of an upcoming dance with a fellow team member who wasn't feeling confident.

The best part for me was when we were all leaving and the number of thank yous being shared between the kids and the mums that were there to help. These girls get it. They get the amount of money being spent. They get the amount of time that their mums gave up today to help and that their dads gave up to sit through three acts of dancing to watch the 5 dances that their daughter was in. They get it. I saw 12 year old girls appreciate what was being done for them.

I did not spend the day at the showcase because I am under some grand illusion that my daughter is going to be a principal dancer with The Australian Ballet. I did not spend the day at the showcase because I have some unhealthy desire to dress my daughter up like a doll/beauty queen/pageant princess (yes, we've heard them all) and push her out onto the stage.

I spent the day at the showcase because my daughter learnt a lot more today than how to dance.

68 Comments

Kimberley

5/30/2015 08:08:53 am

Great article!

don deacon

8/21/2015 01:33:07 am

My daughter danced from 4-17. I never missed one performance in all those years. Even in Boston, Florida and many Canadian cities. In a group of girls you could always pick out the dancers. Their posture was better. Their self-confidence was high. My daughter competed in 100's of competitions usually, but not always, winning a medal. But that never affected her. I remember her first experience of dancing in Boston. She was definitely an underdog but she chatted amiably with her competitors and wished them luck before they went on. she got strange stares from some of them. They were competitive. They certainly did not wish her well :)

Sarah

5/30/2015 09:11:58 am

I was never close to being the best dancer, but I loved my 12 years of Jazz and am looking forward to my daughter starting dancing very soon!
My poor parents had to watch the entire concert to see me in my one dance! My poor Dad! Lol

Jim Demas link

6/4/2015 11:38:37 pm

Great letter.

As a grandfather who has sat through countless performances (12 years worth so far), I can say I have enjoyed them all--and all the way through. I love to see them working at getting it right (or not working at it in some case). Or standing there looking around to see what they should be doing. I love watching them develop over the years. With 30 years as a martial artist and frequently as an instructor, there is little more satisfying than watching the students "get it" and take such pleasures in their accomplishments. Certainly there are moments of boredom in performances, but on the balance it is a rewarding and delightful experience. Check with your parents on this.

Our granddaughter is going off to dance in college. It may or may not work out, regardless her experience in dance has been enormously rewarding and will be a huge help in her future. Your list covers many good points. Add dedication and time management. I am sure we have missed others.

As a chemistry professor, I get to watch many students come in convinced they want to do one thing and deciding after being presented with other options that they were wrong and should do something else. How can the average 18 year judge things they have never seen before? That is why we call it an education.

Jim

Fiona Donaldson link

6/5/2015 11:00:28 am

Ditto to that!

Ché

6/8/2015 05:56:51 pm

This is a beautiful response Jim, to a well articulated article! Also 32 years old and a mother to two tiny daughters - also a Street Dance instructor myself - all of these views cover so many facets of what it is to be a parent, a role model and a professional. The joy and fruit lies in the hours of effort, dedication and disappointment. So we learn and so they learn! Love it!

Joan link

6/9/2015 07:46:24 am

You are right & it is the same with baseball & softball. Kids can learn alot more than just sports & dance if they work at it the right way and parents would always act like growups.

Kay Wilson

8/10/2015 01:02:01 pm

Jim I'm a Nanna who drove miles to dancing with my grand children and the fun we had every week was one of the best memories I have now they are all grown up and off to Uni Another dance class benefit. Kay

Dianne McDonald

5/30/2015 10:56:23 am

excellent observations, and all of those performers are well on their way to becoming beautiful well balanced people

Alison

5/30/2015 12:32:35 pm

nothing short of brilliantly said! Congratulations you nailed it to the nay sayers

Val Scott

5/30/2015 03:54:30 pm

My second daughter wished to attend ballet classes from a very early age. No problems, I took her, supported her, sewed her costumes, became a hairdresser. So proud watching her perform in her chosen sport. In her later years she gave it away to... Guess what? Do with her beautiful daughter what I did. Creates beautiful tutus .

Jenny

6/2/2015 10:43:52 pm

I'm a Mother of 3 girls who danced from age 3 some into their early 20's. Never think about the money. It's the friendships made and support given to each other. The discipline they learn and the way they strive to do their best which continues into the future years of study and work. I often look at my girls and see how neat their hair and makeup is. Their posture. This presentation they learned at dance class. Many of these things they didn't even realise they were learning at the time. Most of all they enjoyed themselves. Concerts and Eistedfords are tiring only for the parents who help but you do it for your kids enjoyment! Dance may not be their future occupation but it sure helps in many ways.

Dionne

6/3/2015 07:36:16 am

So true I also believe it gives them a stron work ethic my girls both dance yes one is a dance teacher the other is a hairdresser but both hard working girls 😊

Chris

6/3/2015 07:58:55 am

Your words are so true and ring a bell with all of us dance parents. My daughter dances for 16 years and is now at uni studying to be a school teacher. So all the money I spent out for years on dance has allowed my little girl the ability to now use her well learned skills to teach in another industry. Without her dance background and learning to help and assist and then teach dancers she would not be the intelligent well rounded young lady and future school teacher

Dee

11/19/2015 05:46:04 am

My DD has danced from age 7 until end of 2016 (apparently), she is heading off to Uni in the early months of 2017 to study teaching, hoping to major in English/Literacy with an Arts degree (dance).
Her time management skills, her ability to relate to various age groups, her confidence in herself and her friendly nature have all come from years of dance.
Being surrounded by people who have no interest in drugs/alcohol (not to mention no time for as they are always at comps/camps/workshops/rehearsals/performances) has been worth every single cent I have paid out in the last decade.
As a single parent it hasn't been easy, but it has been the BEST thing I could have given her, a sense of her own self worth is never something to be discouraged :-)

Miss Mary

6/3/2015 08:06:43 am

This should be required reading for parents with boys and girls in dance class. My daughter owns a studio and we just finished recital week end. I dance in the adult tap class. Some of her previous students are back dancing in my class. One is an attorney. An accountant, a teacher. All doing well and continue to dance! Dance classes led to confidence and good lives. Love of dance never leaves. That remains precious.

donna

6/5/2015 12:03:57 am

Thank you for mentioning boys!

Miss Amber

6/3/2015 10:32:39 am

Brilliant brilliant brilliant!! Thank you for writing and sharing this article. It is so true. Courage, committment and class. I've been a dancer for the best part of my life. Being a dancer (whether natural or a hard worker) builds resilience. I am continually proud of my students and their parents for all hard work. It pays off always xx

From a Dad

6/3/2015 01:24:10 pm

Excellent, and the comments above mention many of the other values dance students learn. Well Done All

Alicia

6/3/2015 08:15:31 pm

I've been dancing for close to 14 years now and have recently moved to a new dance school where the girls there get it
It's all about the enjoyment and the team work than the winning or perfect dance
The old dance school I was at they were all about the winning and sabotaging the competition but that is not what this is about
Every girl has a dream to be a ballerina when they grow up because of the pretty costumes and dances but it's really about the team work and the time and effort

Shanda

6/3/2015 09:40:20 pm

What a wonderful article!!!!!! I have a 12 year old who dances 6-7 days a week and is a dance competitor! She tried Soccer and Basketball but clearly insisted dance was what she wanted to do. I've already been out $9,000.00 this year and have yet to hesitate on the world of dance. Watching my daughter do something with such hard work, passion, discipline and dedication is priceless. She never complains and always is wanting more. Dance has taught her balance, discipline and hard work. She's made lifetime friends and showed such compassion towards the younger dancers. She's an only child and seeing her help with her little buddy or friends melts my heart. People hag me all the time about the price or the fact it's no sport. My humble, gracious dancer will always be worth the time, money and hours I invest in her and her LOVE for...dance.

Jim Moore

6/6/2015 07:59:06 am

I am 74 yrs old and the greatest present anyone ever gave me was when mu mother started teaching me to dance when I was 4 yrs old. It started a love affair with music and dancing that I still carry on at least twice a week and for the people who say it isn't a sport let's see them perform the work and exercise that these kids do as a matter of every day life.

Debbie

6/3/2015 11:14:10 pm

What an amazing article I've had a daughter and a son dance now I have grandchildren that dance they learn amazing things in the dance world and make amazing friendship

Stephen Pennington link

6/6/2015 09:10:20 am

I you 12 oily girls very good

Lainey

6/3/2015 11:36:52 pm

My daughter dances 6 days a week, 7 if she could, yes it's costly and time consuming. My daughter is 16 and this is her career path, chosen by her not me and no i haven't pushed it. At least I know where she is and what's she is doing.😊☺

Vanessa

6/3/2015 11:41:42 pm

morethandance#kandvdancecorp

ALWAYS AND WILL BE!

Rae

6/4/2015 12:51:48 am

My mom always wanted to dance and wasn't allowed to. She really wanted me to dance and I did for one year, but didn't like the ballet. But I put my daughter into dance early and she loved it - Grandma was so happy. Her granddaughter fulfilled her dream and became a dance teacher and put her daughter into dance and she also loved it and went through to age 19 and is now continuing at university with dance as a minor. I have since taken up clogging and love it. So the dance genes are all there, present and accounted for.

Kathy link

6/4/2015 05:32:15 am

Congratulation! Well Said- I have done it 13 years with my daughter and now, 8 years with my granddaughter. I would not have changed a thing. So well worth it.!

Jeff

6/4/2015 06:13:09 am

There isn't enough space in these comments for me to articulate my feelings. I daughter is a competitive dancer in dance has been a huge part of our lives over the past few years. She is stronger physically, mentally, and emotionally, than I ever thought she could become. She has developed a work ethic that is unimaginable for someone her age, and she can do things physically that would blow your mind. What I am most proud of, though, is the person she is becoming. She has been raised as a dancer By a large number of older girls Who have been best friends, sisters, and mentors, that anyone could ever pray to have for their daughter. To see a bunch of teenage girls who are not jealous of each other, are confident in themselves, and will stand up for others without hesitation is unusual, and is what every parent hopes for.
It is strange to people who are not dancers for young kids (seven and eight years old) to be spending so much time with girls between 16 and 18 years old. They spend time together because they love each other, and in so doing the younger girls model the behavior of the older girls. In our experience, this is been a very good thing. Young ones grow up expecting to care for the next generation of young dancers, and the cycle continues.
Dance is about people, and we have been very blessed with amazing people. Yes, the answer is expensive. Very expensive. It is also worth it. Our lives are immeasurably richer and better because my daughter loves to dance.
Forgive my typos… It is hard to type while getting choked up.

Kelii

6/4/2015 06:57:57 am

This made me tear- just beautiful!!

6/11/2015 08:16:59 am

Thank you for your comment! Well said!

Sunny link

6/4/2015 06:21:32 am

And the experiences make for a life time of loving memories, not to mention the warmth and joy it brings to a Grandmother. You go girl!

Deb Knechtel

6/4/2015 06:57:52 am

Excellent article, my daughter is 17 and dances 12 dance classes a week, helps assist classes and competes regularily.....is she going to have a career in dance probably not but dance has taught her so nanny more life lessons

Alan Perry

6/4/2015 07:13:40 am

Great stuff Megan, I'm with you all the way!!
Alan

Lynda

6/4/2015 07:59:03 am

I only agree to a certain extent. I also danced a lot as a child, then went to ballet school and performed professionally for a short time, before retiring very early to do a dance degree and work in arts management. I now have two daughters who love to dance and regularly attend class. I feel quite horrified by the emphasis on how they look, as opposed to what they do. My eldest daughter recently took her first ballet and tap exams and we had to buy new satin ballet shoes, tap shoes, 2 different pairs of specific socks and 2 different leotards. Along with extra lessons and exam fees, it was a very expensive exercise. I don't mind paying for something I knew my daughter would enjoy and benefit from, but I wondered why I needed to spend all this time and money making sure she looked right? after all, wasn't the examiner assessing her skill rather than her appearance? I also wondered what would've happened if we simply couldn't have afforded all this expensive new stuff? Why should dance be so expensive? It has become a very lucrative market and, as a result, there's a whole lot of stuff to buy before a child can participate. So much time and effort goes into making dance accessible - many of the organisations I've worked for exist specifically to make sure that young people have the chance to dance - there are so many benefits of engaging in dance, especially for those young people that aren't privileged, who have 'raw' talent, or who might not have great confidence, health or prospects. Yet this emphasis on having the right stuff (costume, equipment, hair, makeup, etc) means that dance becomes the exclusive hobby of those who can afford it, not those who are talented. So unnecessary, and so completely unfair. It saddened me - and has completely turned me off putting my girls into a system that only exists for those who have the funds to participate.

joanne

6/4/2015 12:19:12 pm

Yes, it is unfortunate that dance, ballet in particular, is so expensive. However, it is not unlike a lot of other sports. Hockey is expensive with all of the equipment, fees, AND the uniform. So, like a lot of other sports, ballet also has a uniform. The goal is for the ballerinas to look the same so the examiner is not distracted by different outfits, different hair styles, different shoes, etc etc etc. In my opinion, how a ballerina is dressed is part of the focus and discipline of ballet. I do agree that it is difficult for a child to participate if the parents can't afford it. Do I think it's right? No, not necessarily. Do I accept the fact that participating in many sports is beyond the financial means of some people? Unfortunately, it's part of being in a sport that your child is good at.

Sange

6/5/2015 06:16:47 pm

Agree with all the positives of the article but also support Lynda's comments.Been there too re appearance vs dance talent. Both my ordinary to talented girls have benefited even in their thirties in unexpected ways, from having dance in their lives. But don't gloss over some of the bitchiness that can also attend the dance world. It's not all sweetness and light in the dressing rooms. Comments from peers about body shape can be very damaging. There is also the issue of risk of bodily injury to some unwary young dancers.

Kat

6/6/2015 10:50:28 am

I totally agree with you Lynda. I have been dancing since I was 3 ballet, jazz, lyrical, pointe, contemporary... so many different styles. It has put my mom so far into dept and none of my siblings are able to join any sports because all of the money is spent on my dance. I've actually had to drop all of my classes except for pointe and ballet because my family just can't afford it. It is incredibly unfair and unnecessary. Nobody should need to pay over 700$ a month not including costumes, shoes, traveling fees, competition fees, exam fees, tickets to shows...it's no longer an art but a money pit. It breaks my heart that after 12 years of dance training I have been forced to quit performing because of greedy studio owners.

John link

6/7/2015 05:37:23 am

I agree Lynda, my daughter cannot afford all these outfits and different shoes for our grandaughter, it has cost me a fortune which I can ill afford, but don't want to deprive her of something she likes and is quite good at. In the end it comes down to money, and if you don't have any! It's a big problem to those parents, who only want there kids to have a fair chance

Lee

6/8/2015 12:45:26 pm

I agree and disagree with you.
Dance schools and the programmes set up so anyone can enjoy it are completely seperate issues. Both have good and bad within them.
In my experience as both a dancer, a mother of dancers and now studio owner, there's a vast difference between schools and also programmes.
Yes, there are always going to be schools where you "must buy this and that" in order to do xyz. This is often the personal preference of that school or teacher. Equally there are schools that don't require those purchases. There are schools that compete with the attitude of "winning at all costs" versus "do your best". It is the parents who decide which school they will send their child to, so the onus rests on them to research what type of school they are sending their child to. Remember too, that dance schools do not receive funding from anywhere. Everything gets paid from what income is derived from the fees dancers pay. Many many dance schools worldwide actually can't financially survive on what comes in through fees etc. so many dance teachers either give their time for free or work full time jobs in addition to dance.
Same to be said with dance programmes. Although there are some that may have some government funding, these are the exception and not the rule. The programme only lasts as long as the funding. Often only a few months rather than years.
Society's attitude to dance is a major part of this. It is cause and effect. Whilst people in general want to see a show of professionals, they forget that behind that dancer, there was a parent who paid out a fortune over the dancers childhood.
Dance is an important part of many children's lives. For some it is a career path. For others it was a hobby.
But both will reap the rewards of being a dancer. Dedication, discipline, time management, team spirit, posture, musicality, empathy, grace and the list goes on ...
The funny thing is, I'm writing this while sitting on a bed in a hotel room, with input from the dancers I've just taken to a competition overseas .... these kids have cameraderie rarely seen in kids these days, and concern for so much more than themselves. They are beautiful, strong, independent young people who also happen to be fabulous athletes.
Dance is so much more than the few minutes on stage .. It is a lifetime of skills that make people into assets to society.

Joanne

6/10/2015 09:37:17 am

Yes, I agree with this. The studio my daughter goes to has two separate dance routes - the recreational dance route that is open to everyone, the dress code is flexible and the program itself is quite reasonably priced. These kids start at 3 years old and can continue until they leave high school. The second route is the competitive route. This is where the ballet classes are now examined at the end of the year and require a specific uniform - which, by the way, is not required by the actual school, it is required by the examiners. This route can be very expensive, especially if your child competes in more than one dance. However, you still have the option to remain in the recreational classes, if you cannot afford the extra costs.

Kiki

6/11/2015 08:16:16 am

I get your point, but for me the costumes and makeup and hair wasn't a waste. My dance teacher required absurdly perfect and particular hairstyles, etc., and while it was a pain at the time, I truly believe that it made me a better person. We had to give it our all to be uniformed as a team. It taught be hard work and teamwork. If one person looked off it threw the whole thing off.

But to the person who mentioned greedy studio owners... Yes it is a lot to pay for, but the owners are not bringing home all that money. The studio I work at has just made significant profit for the first time in the 8 years it has been open. A large amount of the money she does make she has to use to pay babysitters. She pays her employees well so that we can afford to not have "regular jobs" the nights we teach. If there are only three hours worth of classes for me in one evening, she has to make it substantial enough pay so that I don't have to go to my waitressing job for 6 hours. Recital venues cost about $2500, if not more. Spring flooring and harlequin floors cost thousands as well. Mirrors, advertising, office supplies, etc. Dance studios are huge expenses. I have never owned one but I was the office manager for a year. There is huge amounts of money coming in, but really not a whole lot to count as full time income for the owners.
It really is unfortunate when people can't afford it but the teachers need to feed their families too. We have given people free classes, but we can't give the whole competitive program away for free. And if we give free classes, we don't want complaining from parents (which many still do). It is sad that not all children can get the same chances, but I have been affiliated with about 8 different studios, and although some I disliked for other reasons, I would never call them a "money pit".

6/24/2015 02:33:26 am

Is this typical?
The studio where my daughter attends is considered one of the "stricter" studios in the area, and they are not so specific. They're almost opposite of what you describe. The only dress code guidelines are color so it's pretty easy to either get used stuff from kids the level above if you can't afford new. We also do not have to pay for exams. Dancers are evaluated mid year and end of year by instructors and they get little report cards. They even have done dances with a girl in wheelchair who always wanted to dance. Not to say that it isn't expensive. It definitely is still pricey.

Sav

7/10/2015 08:40:30 pm

I'm 15 and I started dance last year. It is really sad that it's so expensive because I'm very passionate about it and I have wanted to do it for a very long time. My parents can't afford the thousands of dollars it costs to take up dance, therefore I got a part time job so I could afford to take a few classes a week. Just from dancing a little over a year I have learned so much and grown more and more confident in myself and in my dancing. I really wish that every child had the privilege of taking dance class.

Alex

8/10/2015 01:59:31 am

HI- maybe you could look at a different dance school- at ours, all exams are done in a simple black body suit and tights- and the recital outfits are rented from the school so nobody has to buy a bunch of expensive outfits- I am sure schools like ours exist everywhere!!!!

Jennifer Hitt

6/4/2015 08:09:13 am

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this article! I am the mom of an 11-year-old competitive dancer who has been dancing since she was 3 and competing since she was 6. My daughter is growing into a confident, secure, responsible, caring young woman because of her 9 years of dancing. She has learned about team work, friendship, good sportsmanship, hard work, humility, and that it is not about winning, it is about supporting your teammates, friends, competitors, parents, teachers, and the entire dance community in general.

Dance is very expensive and unfortunately I have an ex-husband that has been unwilling to contribute financially to dance since we divorced in 2011. His biggest complaint is that he doesn't believe she will have a career in dance so he doesn't see the point of spending so much time and money on it. Last year, I took him to court to revise our divorce decree to order him to pay half of all extra-curricular activities.

While the judge refused to rule one way or the other, she did refer us to a parental consultant. We signed an order to agree to allow the consultant to decide whether or not our daughter can participate in dance going forward. If he decides in my favor, her father will be required by court order to pay for half of all dance expenses. I am confident that after all of the evidence I provide, as well as my daughter's own testimony, that he will rule in my favor. I plan to give him a copy of this article! As long as my daughter wants to dance, she WILL dance!!!

Sara Harden link

6/4/2015 09:06:17 am

All dance studios are not the same! We were not rich but 2 of my 3 daughters danced. It was paid for by a min. wage job. It depends on the studio and how many classes the child takes. I made many of the costumes, bought the shoes 2nd hand, and had a good dance studio named Art In Motion. You can choose number of classes and number of dances your child is in.

Connie Nelson

6/4/2015 02:08:18 pm

This is a well written article. The children who participate in dance learn a great deal more than dance. They learn responsibility, giving support to teammates and so much more. People need to walk in dance families shoes before they criticize..

Poppy-a dance teacher

6/5/2015 12:31:23 am

Dear Lou
THANK YOU!
You may have no idea but there are dance teachers all over the world sharing this post, discussing this post and generally loving you!

I am a VERY young dance teacher with a small dance school although I grew up in a large happy dance school where two branches joined together every year for exams or shows. This is exactly what I was like, this is exactly what I watched as I returned to help on show, rehearsals and exam days as I grew and left for university. This is what my sister now does, and my mum she is you the dedicated mum who sees past the superficial 'just dance' screen and watches young children to young adults join together to create an atmosphere I wish you could bottle.

So from teachers of the dance world thank you! We love you and this post! We support you and thank you for your support! Your daughters dance school and teacher is lucky to have you as a dancers mum!

Poppy XXXX

Susanna Klassen

6/5/2015 02:28:10 am

very well said !! and also they were not out on streets,I so admire our 12 year old grand
daughter dancing

Nana/Ann/Mom

6/5/2015 07:08:58 am

I have 3 daughters. None of them had the opportunity to be part of a dance class,due to lack of money. But now my grand-daughters are both taking dance. This article actually me me cry. No matter what organization your daughter has the chance to belong to, all of the rewards will be the same. I call them little lessons of life. I was always proud of my daughters and this article says it all. Now I get to enjoy my grand-daughters as they succeed in their little lessons of life and grow into beautiful, successful women. Congrats to all of the little tu-tus out there as they start their journey.

Syl

6/5/2015 04:25:03 pm

Its character building making young thoughtful women and this is from 20years experience with three daughters God bless them

Angela Nicole

6/6/2015 01:50:35 am

I was a dancer for over 22 years, a dance teacher and a choreographer. I can't even begin to list how many things I have learned through these experiences.

I would like to note the fathers who do a lot of behind stage helping. When I started competing my mother was finishing her thesis for her PhD and was not as easily able to help out. My father learned how to do a perfect bun, assist with costumes and dance shoes, knowing what costumes, pieces, accessories, etc. I needed to have with me and more! My father also helped out backstage at competitions with the other moms. Most importantly, I was able to spend more time with my father!

M Light link

6/6/2015 07:04:47 am

My daughter danced from the time she was five through a dance minor in college, and she still dances in the evenings after her Biotech job. Beyond her love of dance and music and working with the other dancers, she said that the same mental moves she uses to learn dance combinations helped her learn Chemistry.

Cassandra

6/6/2015 11:36:19 am

The hundreds of thousands will never be a waste. To see my daughter go from shy and scared to going out there with such confidence is worth it all. People look at all the bad things but do they ever look at the good. We have made the best of friends through dance since she spends more time at the studio then at home. If at the end of it all no matter what the money was worth it all

Donna Thompson

6/6/2015 12:01:02 pm

I consider all the money we spent on our 2 girls dance lessons, costumes, and competitions well spent because we always knew who our kids were with and what they were doing.

6/7/2015 12:59:05 am

Cassandra and Donna, at least you were able to spend the money. I had to quit dancing so my family could eat

grandma

6/6/2015 09:20:36 pm

WOW SONYA YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD

Barbara A. Jones

6/7/2015 12:35:03 pm

Why is It about red lipstick and make-up on a five-year-old? Why couldn't they compete as little girls?

Windy Queen link

6/8/2015 05:12:33 am

As a teacher and studio owner I like to say that only 5% or so of our girls will go on to be professional dancers, but they will ALL go on to be professional HUMANS. Dance is about more than steps...it's about training these young women to be good, hard working, supportive, compassionate PEOPLE! Very well written!

Ivy Ollier link

6/9/2015 08:49:25 am

I spent some of my happiest times watching my granddaughter dance,although she no longer has dance lessons at a studio,what she learned and how she danced was fantastic and still is(,sure there are Dance Mums) the look on the dancers faces when they performed was magic,and they had much more than dance to keep them performing, no amount of money can make a dancer it has to come from inside,my granddaughter still loves it but needed to catch up with school work so now does dance as a subject at school,so I still get the pleasure of watching her and so many others enjoying a fantastic outlet for their talent and energy so it has all been worthwhile.

Miranda

6/11/2015 08:01:06 am

Beautiful article. I danced for 12 years, and then did a year in college. I got sick of it quick in college, but I still train and I teach many dance classes now. My best friend to this day I made in dance in elementary school, and we are 20 now. Our main dance teacher as kids has made such an influence on us that we have inherited personality traits for her like family. Another teacher we had we all idolized, and to this day I think I kind of put her on a pedestal and don't understand why other people think she's just a regular person. After this year's recital when I went home and read my thank you cards from my students I cried. I don't know if anyone could ever think of me how I felt about my teacher, but those cards made it seem close.
I have so many moments in my life to be proud of, but watching my students dance is absolutely number one.
That is what the thousands of dollars of dance is for.

Bob link

6/15/2015 03:30:03 am

Very proud of you Dana

Julia Beecroft

6/30/2015 10:21:06 am

Having 5 children 3 of which dance 2 still do has many benefits beyond the tiaras .it provides discipline which carries over into their studies (Providing they leave time aside for that ) teamwork ,confidence ,happiness to themselves and others .it builds resilience (when they learn that the outcome of a competition or place in the concert might not be what they would have hoped for . And all of this puts them in good stead for later in life .

Gloria Young

8/11/2015 08:41:52 am

That was a beautiful story I have two daughters who danced from the age of 4yrs they made many friends from attending eisteddfods,they all danced into there teenage years were helping teachers at there dance school,now I am a very proud mum as one daughter has had her own dance school For the past 5years and she now passes on every thing from all her years of dancing,and I have never regretted all the travelling sitting up sewing sequins onto costumes and many hours in change rooms. I am one very proud mum

David

8/11/2015 12:18:02 pm

Thanks for this insightful article. I am a Mr Mom with a 12 yo son who has been dancing for 5 years, hip hop, tap, ballet for a year, modern dance (jazz,funk,etc), and all the things you talk about I have understood for as long as he's been dancing. He also plays sport (soccer, Futsal, cricket, Ultimate Frisbee) and those also teach some strong life skills. But what I like about dance is that it isn't about competitiveness, rather it's all about cooperation and working as a whole, as a unity. Far more than any sporting team he's been in!
He's also had the opportunity to work with girls, in an environment where the differences are virtually irrelevant. He's pre-adolescent now, and while some of the other boys are fixated on girls, my son sees girls as mates, not just "the other sex". His head isn't easily turned by a flash of flesh... He's seen it all before!!
He is currently preparing for a trip to the USA as a member of a dance group (the only boy!) and I see how hard they are all working, rehearsing, practicing, fundraising, and sacrificing other things because he has USA Dance commitments, fills me with pride and satisfaction.
Whether he becomes a professional dancer, or works in the dance industry is not the point. He is learning so so much that will hold him in good stead his whole life.
Also, when he's older, don't girls prefer guys who'll dance with them at the club? Yes!

Lauren-Jaxson link

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Dave chans

1/8/2016 10:56:26 pm

I have a son who plays lots of sports and who is a very good athlete. I have coached him and many young men for almost 10 years but they still don't have the dedication and work ethic that my daughter does when it come to dance. She was a very good athlete also but gave it all up to dance. She does it 7 days a week. It has made here tough and determined to reach her goals and succeed. I know she will probably not get a job dancing but everything she learned dancing will help her in life.

Not Another Supermum