A friend said to me the other day, “Your blog hasn’t popped up on my Facebook feed lately.” “No,” I said, “That’s because I was in this fantasy land where I thought I could do my job, raise two kids, be a chauffeur, a counsellor, study my Masters blah blah blah…..and write a multi million follower blog!”
Reality Check...something had to give and of course it was the thing that I wanted to do for me! Because we’re Mums, that’s what we do! Like the time I was part of an acapella women’s choir, or the time I tried to take up Yoga or the candle making kit that I bought last holidays that is still sitting on kitchen bench.
But now I’m back, probably not regularly, but whenever I get a spare half hour (and I have locked myself in my bedroom away from the relentless cries of ‘Muuuuuummmmm,’) I’m going to write…...because I love it and it’s just for me.
You see, I’m struggling at the moment. This year has been a big one for our little family. I got a new job. A promotion of sorts that means more responsibility. Well, not MORE responsibility, but different responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying my new role. I am learning a HUGE amount but will admit that, at the moment, I am struggling. I have read many university articles and texts about women and leadership, how hard it is, how much we deserve it and after reading these articles, I usually come away inspired and ready to burn my bra in feminist protest and show those men how this work thing is done. But, as I read yet another Women in Leadership article for uni, I thought....You know what, the authors of these articles obviously do not have children with as busy after school lives as mine, do not have a problem with feeding their family take away multiple times a week or do not have a deep and lasting love of uninterrupted baths and time on their own, in the piece and quiet….with no one whinging...or whining...or stomping their feet because “You always say no.” And I have all of those things, especially the the piece and quiet….Oh, how I long for silence, just for 15 minutes!
So I am calling it like it is. I’m struggling. I have not had 5 minutes to myself all year and this is going to be my week!
And Why? Because I need it, and that’s ok.