Am I Successful? Not According to Pinterest!

So, it’s the last week of the school holidays. Those teachers among us understand the inevitable pull between the conflicting messages that my brain is sending….my left practical (hardly ever used) side is yelling at me like a drill sergeant. “Get off that arse full of Christmas cheer and New Years champagne and get sorted!” I should be in at school. With only two more days, I really should be in at school. But, on the other side of the chocolate coin, with only two days left, I really should be down at the lake with my kids! The right hand, creative, airy fairy, emotional (and ridiculously overused) side of my brain is telling me to stay in bed, watch Netflix with the kids and take advantage of those last few days of just being Mum.

The right side usually wins.

This morning I compromised. I stayed in bed, but pulled out my laptop and got onto Pinterest. Again, those teachers among you realise that this is an essential part of programming, classroom setup and…..procrastinating. Lots of beautiful things popping up….amazing classroom door designs, hair cuts/colours/styles, healthy recipes containing quinoa that get pinned but never made, when a quote pops up that makes me laugh.

“16 Things Successful People do on Monday Mornings”

It was insiprational! They wake up early, they exercise, they arrive early, they visualise the week’s successes…..and my favourite, ‘They add a blanket of humanity to their emails.’ If you need to add a ‘blanket of humanity’ to your emails, there is something seriously wrong!

Why had I not thought of these things before!

All of this time, I had thought I was being successful…..just by getting out the door.

They should rename this list

16 Things Successful Single, Childless People, or Those With A Full Time Live In Nanny do on Monday Mornings.

It made me think about my own list. What do I need to do on that first day back to ensure I am a success. So I made up my own list…..I hope it helps!

16 Things Successful Mums do on Monday Mornings

1. The snooze button is only allowed twice. You set the alarm last night with a clear head, knowing how much you need to get done this morning. Pressing snooze multiple times in your broken sleep, exhausted haze is a bad idea.
2. Shower. If this means chucking the kids in with you cause you were too buggered last night to bath them, that’s ok too.
3. Find the least crinkled thing in your wardrobe...No time for ironing.
4. Wake children up.
5. Politely go in and ask for the third or fourth time for children to get up.
6. Go in and rip the doona off children. They have to get up, do what it takes.
7. Make toast. Don’t ask what they want on it, this is asking for trouble! Vegemite is always a winner.
8. While children are eating, duck back into the bathroom and attempt to make your hair look presentable. If you manage to add a straightener to this routine, you are unbelievable!
9. Time for your breakfast…..if I can get a cup of tea in a thermos cup for the car, I’m winning.
10. Send children in to get dressed.
11. 10 minutes later, make sure you check on 8 year old son who will most likely be sitting on the floor in his undies playing Ninja Turtles.
12. Just dress him yourself, it’s easier and faster.
13. If you packed bags and lunches the night before you are a supermum! If you are Not Another Supermum, your child is not going to die from having Vegemite for both breakfast and lunch.
14. Kids teeth and hair….This is the absolute pits in our house in the morning. Teenage girl takes twenty minutes to do her hair, only to emerge with a ‘messy bun.’ 8 year old is obsessed with his hair and takes the same twenty minutes getting EVERY hair in place…..If this continues, they are both shaving their heads.
15. Grab the Cotton On tote bag full of work that has sat in your lounge room all weekend...untouched.
16. Get in the car and rattle off a list of all the things that kids should have, “lunches, bags, musical instruments, taekwondo gear, shoes? I know, who forgets shoes….apparently, my children.

Are you out the door with moderately presentable offspring, looking some what appropriate for work? Is everyone, except you fed, washed and dressed?

Congratulations!

​YOU ARE A SUCCESS!

---